Preschool

Oh, it's incredibly hard to believe that our sweet little baby Addy is now a 'big' girl who goes to a co-op nursery school two mornings a week. As is the case when we start dabbling in greater independence we tend to retreat a bit to make sure we are grounded, that we still have the support we used to if we need it. And that surely is, I see now, what was happening this summer as Addy experienced the most or at least the most extreme separation anxiety since birth because on Monday, after much build up with preschool summer park dates to meet fellow incoming preschoolers, parents, and the teacher, Addy walked into her classroom with confidence, ready to play. She hung up her special preschool bag showcased in the pictures below and got busy playing in the kitchen with one of her buddies.






When people asked Addy if she was excited to start preschool she didn't have much to say, it's a rather abstract thing until you actually go. It wasn't until last week when we had a meeting with her teacher to make her special bag, a playdate at the school playground, and a playdate/dry run at school did Addy's excitement grow and her life as a preschooler begin. On our way to the preschool picnic on Sunday she said, "We're going to a picnic for me, just for me, because I am the preschooler in the family." The two days she went this week went as smoothly as possible. In the car on the way home I asked, "So how was your morning? What did you do?" and she said, "Weeeellll, I'll tell you at bedtime."
"Wow, that's a long time to wait."
"ok, I'll tell you at dinner time." And then she proceeded to sing songs and talk about her day throughout the afternoon. She played school after dinner informing us that she would read us a book because that was what her teacher did. And today when I picked her up I asked again, "So how was your day? What did you do?" And she said, "I'll tell you at dinner time."
"Oh, I have to wait until then. Ok, I guess I'll have to be patient."
"Sometimes we have to be patient mama."
"You're right, Addy."
pause.
"Ok, I'll tell you!"

And then, "Mama, preschool is like home to me."
"Oh really, how so sweetie?"
"Well, we paint there and we paint at home. And we do playdoh there and we do playdoh at home."
"I noticed you seem to be feeling happy when I pick you up. Does preschool make you feel happy? Do you feel comfortable there?"
"Yeah, I'm used to my school."

What a fun new adventure this will be. Part of me thinks, oh geez we're already here, can't I just have my baby back? I loved those sweet baby rolls and the days when she didn't have the words to argue just cries and then I could just nurse her. There's challenges and joys with every phase. It's a friendly reminder to soak in these moments, really feel them. I felt like Addy's smile was beaming right into me today when I picked her up on the playground, her excitement, energy, happiness, love. It's scary, now that she's officially out in the world, without me, even in this very safe, extremely welcoming and loving school. Letting go is hard. I found today that I wanted just one more wave goodbye but she was ok with our special goodbye, signing I love you and touching hands, a hug and kiss, wave goodbye, then off to the classroom. And so I walked away with little El and headed to the market. I'm definitely looking forward to this new phase of parenthood and our ever evolving relationship with Addy as she grows into her new school self and we grow into our changing roles as parents!