Rose's Birth

A word of caution: what follows is not for the faint of heart (hee), nor for anyone entirely uninterested in knowing about labor and birth. Read at your own risk!

There's really a 5-6 week window in which one might have her baby, 37-43 weeks is all considered term. I was a little worried (mostly because I had my list that I wanted to get through) that Curly was going to come early. You know, just because, I'm type A and haven't yet, after two kids, entirely given up on trying to be organized or "productive," (what's that mean anyway, right?) figured that Curly would be the one to kick me in the butt and remind me, "hey, there's no predicting anything folks and, mom, chill out on your to do list!" So once September 1st passed I felt at ease knowing that some time in the next three weeks Curly would be born. I had already felt pretty happy that we had gotten as much work done around the house as we had and had even preserved some of the veggies from our garden and CSA which I had actually written off as impossible upon even planting a garden this year. I began to see each passing day as a gift to have more time with Addy and Elliott, to have another date with Jason, to check one more thing off my list. It was great! And I tried to take in stride all the questions and comments, "I bet you're ready" or "You're still pregnant!!!!" I reminded myself how fortunate I am to have so many people who care about me. But mostly I just really focused inward, on my family, on our house, and I just stopped answering my phone, which as an introvert, I tend to avoid normally anyway!

But then, after a week, I did start to get a little antsy and each day didn't really feel like a gift when it was filled with the now almost unbearable anticipation that at any moment we would have a new baby and our life would change. The kids were on edge. We wanted to prepare them, but the wait was really getting to them and their 'fighting' was pushing me over the edge! By Friday, Sept. 9, though I knew labor would be starting soon. I went to bed, like every night for the last few weeks thinking, maybe tonight is the night. But in the morning , I still wasn't in labor. So we decided to check off a couple more extra items on our list and we (ok, Jason did the fixing and I tried to keep the kids from jumping on him or hurting each other with tools) fixed the broken light in our room. And then we had to get out of the house or we would all be at each other so we hopped in the car and headed for our annual outing to the cider mill.

And thankfully when we got home our dear friend Anj, was there, waiting to hang out with Addy and to help us get through the rest of our day. I was feeling particularly worn out and went to lay down. After a little while Addy came in and we had a sweet and much needed snugglefest. Anj needed to head back home as she lives near the stadium and has to be strategic about her travels on football game days. This particular night was the first ever night game. I had joked the previous Saturday that I was thankful that at least my midwife didn't live near the stadium because every one else who was supposed to attend or help while I was in labor did. And if you have ever been in Ann Arbor on a UofM game day you know why this might be concerning. Anyway, I said goodbye to Anj, got up from resting, went to pee, and then hurried to catch Anj before she left, "I think I'll be calling you later tonight." Yay for early signs of labor! Jason had started cooking dinner and was at the stove when I caught Anj. He smiled, "What? Really? What do you mean?" And then Addy said, "What?" She's always listening and is keenly aware of what adults are talking about. Curly's coming soon, Addy! I had to call my dad to break the news that Curly would be putting a damper on his attendance of the historic night football game. He of course was more than happy to miss it for the birth of his fifth grandchild! We had all sorts of contingency plans for the kids while I was in labor, and at first I figured we'd just eat dinner and then get the kids to bed, like we did with Addy when Elliott was born, but since we knew so early, about 5pm, that things would be happening we opted for my dad to pick the kiddos up. They were super geeked about spending the night at Nonno and Susie's house and Jason and I quickly became geeked about the prospect of being able to get our house ready and spend some time together, to really focus on labor and Curly's birth. I needed that. Some time to ground myself and to have Jason's focused attention. And I have to say things went so smoothly. We ate. We even cleaned up our dishes (Ha, I know). We finished blowing up the pool, got our room ready, called our families and friends and then went for a walk hoping to help labor progress.

Elliott's labor was fast. I knew I shouldn't count on anything, but I did secretly hope that Curly would be born before midnight so her birthday would be September 10. Earlier in the day I had talked with my sister and commented how I wasn't yet in labor and really it would be ok with me if Curly waited to come until Monday. I hadn't given much thought about having her on September 11. I think at first I thought it would be hard to have a birthday on a day that was so heavy and those thoughts became stronger as we listened to NPR on Saturday. It seemed at first like a bit of a curse to have your birthday on a day when everyone is remembering losses and devastation.

When we got back from our walk I was still in early labor and things hadn't changed much. I made a milkshake and asked Jason to massage my ankles and feet in hopes of urging stronger contractions. I felt mildly frustrated. Our friend Anj arrived. Anj stayed upstairs with Addy while I was in labor with Elliott. This time around she helped as our doula. Though I wasn't yet in active labor we weren't sure when that would happen and we didn't want her to be stuck in game traffic. I decided to go to bed and get some rest. Who knew how long labor would be. So I rested very restlessly. When I 'woke up' at 11 I was pissed. Why hadn't things progressed? I started to feel annoyed. Anj and Jason were still up and I grumpily said, "You should just go to bed. This baby is never coming out" (or something like that anyway). And so they did and I did, too.

Around 1:30 a.m. I awoke with an uncomfortable contraction. I laid in bed waiting to see if there would be another or if should just go back to sleep and then there was another one and another one several minutes later. I worked through them but I was not comfortable in bed so I quietly got up. I started walking the track in our house in hopes that this was the real deal. I enjoyed the peacefulness of being up alone, with my little Curly Bear, listening to May Erlewine, and fixing myself snacks. Jason strolled out of sleepy slumber and I told him things were moving along. He started filling up the pool. After an hour of regular contractions I figured it was time to call my midwife to let her know I was in active labor. "Do you want me to come over?" she asked.

"No, not yet" I said. But after a few harder contractions I called Amanda back, 2:45, and asked her to come over. We are so lucky to have our neighbor and friend as our midwife. She literally lives around the corner from our house. By this point contractions were harder and more frequent and I was ready for Jason to wake up Anj.

When Elliott was born we were taken by surprise by how fast he came and didn't really give Amanda enough time to set up. He was born 20 minutes after she arrived. For Curly, though, she had an entire hour and I chuckled as I watched her set up, thinking, "So this is what you do when your client calls you early enough!" Contractions were getting more frequent and harder and I was needing more support from Jason. The pool was ready so I got in. Wow, the pool was awesome. I pretty much laid like a frog in there and used the side of the pool and Jason and Anj's hands to help me through my contractions. The experience of my labors with Addy and Elliott gave me so much insight and power through this labor. With every contraction I could really feel myself opening for Curly. It was so powerful and beautiful and instantly gratifying. My body really did know what it was doing and I was trusting my body to do what it was meant to do and it was working. And I was so thankful.

I am so fortunate to have such wonderful friends and family in my life. For labor I had been given so many gifts. I had a beautiful blessing ceremony my dear friends created for me a few weeks earlier and the flags each woman made for me hanging above me, along with the special necklace my sister gave me tucked into one of the flag pockets, gave me such strength. We were just two days from the full moon and the quartz holding the beautiful open energy from the previous full moon filled the room. My dear friend Carisa, passed along a beautiful necklace representing balance and strength for me to wear during labor. And of course my mom, she was there, and I wasn't sad or scared. I felt strong and I could feel her with me, part of me. This was the labor and birth I had dreamed of. It's the labor and birth that could have only happened because of Addy and Elliott. Because of what they have taught me, teach me, how their love fills me up. I couldn't stop thinking of them especially as labor progressed.

Yet, as in every labor, transition happens, and the doubt enters. I can't do this. I thought this and then I said, out loud, "I can do this. I can do this." And I started singing or more like groaning, "I am opening. I am opening." Anj joined me, though she sang or maybe chanted. It hurt. I had been feeling pushy for a while and had been pushing but I was in a zone and while I noticed Amanda had positioned herself to 'catch' and I felt her touch, I wasn't sure exactly where Curly was (I mean I knew she was still inside, but where along the path out????) and so I said, "Amanda, what are you feeling?"

"Your baby's head!"

I felt a little silly, but her verbal confirmation helped me get through the ring of fire feeling I was having, to focus and go slow. That moment in time felt so quiet and then, feeling the beginning of another contraction, I said, "here comes another one" and her head was out and and in another push her body was out. I immediately flipped over in the pool to sitting saying "She's out. She's out." Amanda placed Curly in my arms and crying, I repeated, "She's out. She's out. I can't believe she's here." The flood of emotions after birth is like nothing else I have experienced. It is a high I will never forget for each of my sweet babies. The magic of those first moments holding this beautiful new being is remarkable and so joyful, truly a miracle. And so having Rose at 4:15 a.m. on September 11 feels more like a gift, of hope, of opportunity, of a new little life to celebrate.

A lovely healing herbal bath just an hour after birth. Rose's cord fell off just a few days after birth. This bath is magic!

Yay for giant meconium

poop all over daddy!

weighing in at 7 lbs 11 oz

Our sweet and wonderful midwife, friend, neighbor, Amanda! Thank you! We love you!

Curly Bear! Rose Kathleen!

Proud Big sister and brother!